Tuesday, 17 February 2015

DOUBLE REVIEW: The Human Centipede (2009) / The Human Centipede II (2011)

The Human Centipede

IMDB rate: 4,5
Genre: Mad Scientist
Starring: Dieter Laser, Ashley C. Williams, Ashlynn Yennie

It was time to watch The Human Centipede again, the very shocking movie from The Netherlands; the country where I come from! You see, this might be the only Dutch movie that I like, mainly because there are no Dutch actors in it. I live in this country but when I watch a movie from my own country (spoken in Dutch) I can't understand a thing of what they say, so weird. Anyway, that's why this is the only Dutch movie that I like. It's super brutal and very sick. But I liked it. Why? Because it's a very original (but ridiculous) idea.
I get that some people get disgusted by this movie, but it's just not a movie for everybody.

Two pretty but ditsy American girls are on a road trip through Europe. In Germany, they end up alone at night with a broken car in the woods. They search for help and find an isolated villa. The next day, they awaken to find themselves trapped in a terrifying makeshift basement hospital along with a Japanese man. An older German man identifies himself as a retired surgeon specialized in separating Siamese twins. However, his three "patients" are not about to be separated but joined together in a horrific operation. He plans to be the first person to connect people via their gastric systems. By doing so, he plans to bring to life his sick lifetime fantasy, the human centipede.

First of all, the acting. I think it's an excellent choice to cast Dieter Laser as Dr. Heiter. He is one scary dude and even looking at him gives me goosebumps. He has the ultimate mad scientist look which is of course very useful for this role. His acting was simply brilliant.
Then the two girls. I did not like them. Their acting was horrible the first part of the movie (the part where they still were able to talk). Also they were so dumb. I can't stand movies where someone has the opportunity to escape (and get help) and instead they go back to save someone. Why do they not understand that getting help is much more useful!
There's not much to say about the Japanese guy, since he's only talking Japanese. All I know is that I find his character very annoying with the Japanese screaming the entire time. I do not get why Dr. Heiter puts him in front of the 'centipede', since he's not able to speak one word English. Quite annoying.
I kinda have respect for these actors because this might be one of the most uncomfortable acting jobs ever.

Of course there are many things in this movie that can't be right, for example surviving longer than a few days in that 'centipede' condition. Or that Dr. Heiter finds 3 matching flesh types where he only needed to kill one guy for. It's just too impossible. 
Also, it's very unlikely that the cops react this way. Especially when the cop found the anesthetic that Dr. Heiter brought with him, it's very unbelievable that the cop wouldn't pull his gun or anything. He might be an even worse cop than Dewey (from Scream). 
Even though there are many inaccurate things in this movie I did not find it very bothering. After all, there are not many horror movies that are 100% medically accurate.

I have not seen the sequel yet but I'm planning on watching it very soon. An even longer human centipede must be incredibly disgusting; therefore, more interesting. 

Personally, I enjoyed watching this movie a lot. It's an absolute ridiculous idea, but I liked it. It's very original and very fucked up. The acting of the 'villain' is absolutely brilliant. 
Unfortunately some of the actors are not that great, this made the movie less enjoyable for me. Also, some parts are just too unbelievable and annoying.
The Human Centipede is definitely not a movie for everyone. You need a very strong stomach and at least a bit of a sense of humor. 

My personal rate: 6,5/10


The Human Centipede II

IMDB rate: 3,9
Genre: Mad Scientist, Torture
Starring: Laurence R. Harvey, Ashlynn Yennie, Maddi Black

If you've read my review about the first Human Centipede, you know that I liked it. It's perhaps the only movie coming from The Netherlands that I truly enjoyed. It's a weird movie, it's disgusting, but it's also original and quite good. As you can imagine I was curious about the sequel, the centipede would be longer so in my opinion that would become even more awesome. But I can only say that I was incredibly wrong. 

The Human Centipede II is a real awful movie. The first movie at least tried to make a believable story, with good effects and reasonable acting. This movie is just shit. It's purely made to shock people, it has absolutely no logic in it at all. 

Martin is a mentally disturbed loner who lives with his mother in a bleak housing project. He works the night shift as a security guard in an equally grim and foreboding underground parking complex. To escape his dreary existence, Martin loses himself in the fantasy world of the cult horror film The Human Centipede, fetishizing the meticulous surgical skills of the gifted Dr. Heiter, whose knowledge of the human gastrointestinal system inspires Martin to attempt the unthinkable. 

The biggest part of this movie is replaying the first movie. This Martin dude is obsessed with it and watches it over and over again, which means, the viewer of the sequel watches it over and over again as well. It's not very refreshing for a movie if it's mostly replaying the first part. 

I'm by the way not too sure what to think of this Martin dude, or the guy who played him. Sure, he was good at acting as a creepy little dude who did some pretty nasty stuff. And he did made me feel incredibly uncomfortable, so I guess for a horror movie that's a good thing. But man, this dude was nasty as hell. His acting might be reasonable, but well, acting is made a lot easier when you don't have to say a word. Really, not one word the entire movie. And I don't think he was a mute, since people complained about 'him talking about the centipede stuff', meaning he talked. 

The script was really crap. Martin didn't talk for the entire movie, and the ones who did talk were incredibly unbelievable. The dialogues are unrealistic, random and mostly weird. This was especially when his mother was involved. A weird scene, involving his mother, was when she starts stabbing his bed where she thought he was laying, a second later she's cutting her wrists and another second later she's acting as if it doesn't hurt her but she does get upset because of a weird book under his bed. It really was one of the most random scenes I've ever seen. 

The movie is incredibly slow. I already mentioned that most of it consists of replaying the first part. The other half consists of a not talking nasty main character who is really fucked up. I literally waited for a hour for something to happen, there were only 32 minutes left when finally something slightly interesting happened. 
This guy is bashing everyone's heads in and still expects them to be alive, at least one of them should have gained a head trauma which caused them to faint every few minutes I think. It's like they didn't even try to be slightly realistic. 

The Human Centipede II is really just made to shock people. The first part actually had a story and wasn't necessarily made for it's gore and violent, while this movie just loves it that much that it forgets to make a decent story. There are very visual images of teeth being bashed in, poop being 'shat at the camera' and rape with barbed wire. At one point I think Tom Six forgot that he was making a sequel to The Human Centipede and just continued in making something like A Serbian Film or something. A Serbian Film at least had some sort of story in it, even though it was sick as fuck. 

It's a shame that this movie is like it is, I think it could've been a reasonable movie. I'm really terrified for the third part after watching this piece of shit. What I liked about the first movie was that almost every scene was filmed in nicely lighted rooms, giving a real twisted vibe because it showed something sick. This movie is filmed entirely in black and white which should make it feel more scary according to Tom Six, but really it just seems amateurish and lame. It was quite bothering really. 

There's absolutely nothing to like about this movie. It's gross and just bad. The first half tells about the mad life of this creepy dude whose gathering people, the other half is just a terrible imitation of A Serbian Film. I'm not even sure if I will ever watch the third movie, it can only become more terrible than this movie. Don't waste your time on this.

My personal rate: 1/10

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