Honeymoon (2014)

Honeymoon

IMDB rate: 5,6
Genre: Possession
Starring: Rose Leslie, Harry Threadaway

I was actually kinda excited for this movie. The cast was pretty good, the trailer looked awesome and it just seemed like a pretty good movie to me. Unfortunately this was not the case. It actually was a pretty boring movie, it just took way too long for something to happen. After a hour already passed nothing really interesting had happened yet. Sure, there were some mysteries but it was just not tensive at all.

Here is what Honeymoon is about:
Young newlyweds Paul and Bea travel to remote lake country for their honeymoon. Shortly after arriving, Paul finds Bea wandering and disoriented in the middle of the night. As she becomes more distant and her behavior increasingly peculiar, Paul begins to suspect something more sinister than sleepwalking took place in the woods.

The acting was actually pretty decent, Rose Leslie is a cute actress most known for her role as Ygritte in the TV show Game of Thrones (the one who keeps saying "you know nothing Jon Snow!". Harry Threadaway was quite good as well, haven't seen him in many roles besides the few episodes I watched of Penny Dreadful, but I quite liked him. Their chemistry was somewhat convincing, although the romance level in this movie was just too much for me. I saw people complaining that their American accents were horrible, in Harry Threadaway I did not even notice that he was British actually so in my opinion he did a good job. With Rose Leslie though I did not even notice that she was trying an American accent, I just thought her character would be British. Wrong about that one though, so i guess her job on doing a different accent wasn't too great.

The story itself started off good, the mystery of why Bea was one in the night, and what happened to her at that time. I really was curious about what had happened to her, but actually from that moment on the movie became pretty bad. The pacing was too slow, we first get half a hour of romance, sex attempts and stuff like that, then Bea disappears, then she starts acting weird and in the last ten minutes of the movie we somewhat figure out what had happened. The explanation about what happened is not satisfying at all though, it's not complete and it hardly tells what really is going on. And don't read further if you don't want to know this spoiler: but for real, aliens?! Nope, I'm not cool with that at all. Not even sure if they were aliens, but they sure as hell looked a hell of a lot like aliens.

Honeymoon is not a very scary movie, it's not filled with gore or special effects, it's more one of those movies where things are being left to the viewers imagination. In the end there's on scene that's kinda nasty but that's about the only interesting thing that happened. The make-up is quite good I must say, even for a low-budget movie.

Reactions about Honeymoon are pretty mixed, some hated it and some thought it was the best horror movie of the year. Maybe if your into psychological horrors with very slow pacing it might be something for you. Personally I wasn't a big fan of it. The script was pretty bad and there just did not happen a whole lot. I really thought this movie had some potential, but it got kinda messed up with the 'plot-twist' I think. Good acting, good looking make-up, but overall it was a bit a waste of time.

My rate: 5/10

Friday Night Screening: Brainscan 1994

Brainscan

Pre Virtual-Boy of doom

I get the distinctive idea that people in the 90’s saw us gamers as a bunch of psychopaths waiting to snap, then again, here we have “Brainscan”, a flag holder for worried mommies all over the nation blaming anything but their own parental skills for their kids sudden homicidal tendencies.

A movie about a violent video game in the 90’s? my my, this sounds interesting.

Brought to us in 1994, a glorious year for us gorehounds, this little movie tackles the question of how far one is willing to fall to erase the consequences of a remorseless act.

So let’s go back to a time where the SEGA CD was still a ‘thing’ and figure out why video games are apparently the devil incarnated.

Peeping tom extraordinaire sixteen years old Micheal finds time between his voyeurism sessions and chillaxing like a baller with his typical ”far out dude!” bro to try the game everyone is talking about, Brainscan, a game that is played directly with your brain. Unfortunately after having finished the first disc and mission, that involved sneaking into some poor sod’s house and going Norman Bates on his ass, Michael realizes that the game seems to have consequences in the real world, and he finds himself screwed when the police don’t buy his puppy dog eyes alibi. Even worse, a strange entity follows him around calling himself “the trickster” to make his life a living hell and force him to continue playing, acting like Micheal’s conscience forcing him to take care of the witnesses and erase his tracks. All while we witness the poor little Micheal make time to ask the girl next door out and Micheal’s best friend recreate dialogue from ‘Bill and Ted’s excellent adventure’.

As Micheal continues playing and digs his grave deeper and deeper, reality starts to shift as Trickster makes the game more and more difficult and detective Mc-coldface abnormally good intuitions lead him to his murderer.

can't tell if his face says
"Let's play some super smash brawl"
or "Squeal like a little piggy!"

Okay, let’s get this out of the way, I frigging love this movie. Maybe strange seeing as that in my review of “Satan’s little helper” I criticized it for shining such a negative light on gamers. But in this movie the subject is approached in a much more mature angle. Sure Micheal and his friend are obsessed by horror movies simply for the gore and will play any game with blood in it, and above all doesn't even question the idea of playing a game where the main objective is to perform ruthless homicidal acts for the Lulz.

But the real question this movie asks is: how far is someone gonna go if they believe that their acts are without consequence. Which is a really good and interesting subject regarding the human psychology and the sick dark place that lurks in the human creativity.

So do I like the story? Yes, it’s a murder case  with a bit of a supernatural angle and seen from the perspective of the killer. The message is maybe a little too preachy for me, video games are violent and so on, but let’s remember that it was a very difficult time then, and the idea of blaming something new was simpler than looking at the truth. The questions the movie asks are interesting and it’s an entertaining situation to watch our protagonist get out of.

The characters were all right for the most part, the kid that played Micheal did a good job, and the Trickster is damn entertaining to see. He’s the kind of devil you could have a good laugh with and that could kill you the next moment, all while abusing your house with his questionable feeding habits. I’ll admit that the Trickster is probably the main reason why you should watch this movie, a strange sadistic entity that forces you to continue murdering with as leverage the fear of getting caught? What’s not to love?

And off course we are treated to pre-perfection 90’s CGI and some great practical effects.

The CGI is actually pretty interesting, at time it’s your average 90’s lightning effects, but sometime it seems like they add a painted effect to some of the morphing effects on the Trickster, which give a pretty interesting combination of pre CGI and other canvas techniques.

I really recommend this movie, the story’s good and the ending always makes me laugh. For anyone looking for a cheezy 90’s horror/gore movie with a good twist, I promise you won’t be disappointed, if you don’t mind the teenage drama sprinkled here and there.

Thing I’ve learned from “Brainscan”:

-Damn, so SEGA was evil back in the days, who knew, well, apart from those who know about sonic.EXE I guess.

- Didn’t know the Goblin King and the Leprechaun had a kid, good to know he went into the gaming industry, instead of kidnapping babies or murdering one sixth of  the cast of ‘Friends’.

-Man, I want Micheal’s room. Kid’s got a own electronic butler named Igor. All I got as a kid was a pet lizard I had to catch on my own.
-Who else thinks that “horror movie club” is the best idea for a high school since forcing girls into miniskirts?

Personal rating: 8,5/10

Critical rating: 7/10

Shaun of the Dead (2004)

Shaun of the Dead

IMDB rate: 8,0

Genre: Comedic, Zombie

Starring: Nick Frost, Simon Pegg, Kate Ashfield

It was about time that I watched one of my favorite movies again: Shaun of the Dead. I absolutely love this movie. It's brilliant, amazing acting, amazing script, great zombies and the movie is incredibly funny. Seriously, I watched this movie so many times already and I'm still not bored of it.

Shaun doesn't have a very good day, so he decides to turn his life around by getting his ex to take him back, but he times it for right in the middle of what may be a zombie apocalypse... But for him, it's an opportunity to show everyone he knows how useful he is by saving them all. All he has to do is survive... And get his ex back.

I think that Simon Pegg and Nick Frost are my favorite acting 'couple' ever. I love them even more than Jason Mewes and Kevin Smith, which says quite a lot. Individually they are great and talented actors, but together they are just excellent. Loved them together in Hot Fuzz and Paul, and I'm quite sure that The World's End will be awesome too. They just have great chemistry together that really helps understanding their connection together. 

Shaun of the Dead is certainly not a movie for everyone. I think that British humor is quite different from American humor and many people might not like it. I however, love this kind of humor. Shaun of the Dead is not typically a movie for horror lovers, I know plenty of people who don't like horror and loved this movie. For instance, I watched this movie tonight with my parents and they loved it, while they normally hate horror movies. 

The script is very good. It has a bit of comedy, zombies and romance in it, but never too much of one of these themes. The zombies are perfect, you actually have a chance of surviving with these slow ones. Like Simon Pegg himself said: "Death is not an energy drink", and this is of course true. I like zombies this way, this is my idea of how zombies are supposed to be and it's amazing that they felt the same way. Another fun thing, if you look closely you can recognize Chris Martin from Coldplay as a zombie.

My favorite scene is definitely the one where Shaun is walking -hungover- to the local shop to buy some cornetto's. The zombies are being shown very subtle and what's making it even more fun is the fact that it was filmed in one sequence.

All together, Shaun of the Dead is an amazing zombie film. In fact, it's one of the many movies that belong in my favorites list. Amazing acting, very funny people, also a very funny and good story. Brilliant camerawork and not to forget, incredibly good music!

Go watch Shaun of the Dead!

My personal rate: 9/10

Friday Night Screening: Body#19 2007

Body#19

waiter, there's a fetus in my soup...

I've been doing a lot of comedy lately, haven’t I? And although it’s been fun and swell, let’s tear away from this comforting zone to let ourselves be embarked on a terrifying tale.

Actual scary movies are hard to find, believe it or not. And to find one that is both scary and pretty damn good? Yeah…that’s pretty rare.

But here we are, Body#19, released in 2007 by Thai director Paween Purikitpanya. This movie might just be my favorite actual scary horror movie, the first time I saw it, coming across it by accident, I was amazed by the storytelling and twists and turns this masterpiece presented before me. But I’m getting ahead of myself, what’s Body #19, or more commonly known as ‘Body sob 19’ or simply ‘Body’ about?

Chon and his sister, a nurse working at the local hospital, found themselves renting a huge house from an unknown owner. All seems to go well until Chon begins to see questionable things crawling through the house. His sister decides to help him to unearth the mystery behind these strange sightings, but all they find is a name belonging to a woman who used to teach at the hospital. Things go from bad to worse as other people begin to fall prey to this monster that takes the form of a dismembered woman. And telling anything beyond this point would be a waste, because believe me guys, you need to see this movie for yourself.

This movie is incredibly hard to talk about because the plot holds so many mysteries and I really don’t want to spoil the fun for those watching this movie for the first time. You might think you've already got it figured out, the teacher is coming back to take vengeance on all those who wronged her as some sort of curse and Chon just so happens to live in one of the prosecuted future victims house, right? Believe it or not, if you thought something like that, you couldn't be more wrong. This entire movie is a rolled up burrito of mystery and twists till the very last second and you’ll never see them coming.

This movie needs to be seen at least twice to be fully understood, and believe me, the second watch will be a completely new experience. You’ll notice some of the expressions on the characters faces that you at first dismissed as just a little bit off to be a major plot point afterward.

But enough about the magnificent storytelling, how does the movie look? Well, pretty damn amazing, for the most parts. I’ll need to get this out of the way, the ghost/curse/grudge’s face looks…well silly for a lack of better term. Mainly the eyes that seems to be two Ping-Pong balls glued on the actress’s face. But thankfully it’s only visible in a few scenes and only when they use the practical effects, yes believe it or not, the CGI in this movie actually works and looks even better that the practical effects, never thought I’d say that.

But the effects, both practical and computer generated look amazing for such an obscure movie and fit the tone very well.

And is it scary? Well, for once yes, granted it’s not the scariest movie I've ever seen, but it did manage to give me trouble getting some sleep for a few days. That and the overall eerie and confusing tone of the film makes it an experience you won’t forget easily.

Soundtrack wise, there isn't a lot to be said except for one song that is repeated throughout the movie more that I’d cared for, but it does somehow tie in the plot so I’ll make an exception.

Even for its minor flaws, this movie is a must-see for all who can appreciate a good story that’ll keep you guessing and actual scares that work in the movie’s context. I love this movie more and more every time I watch it, and although the first view can be a bit confusing and make the movie seem like a bit of a mess at times, those who will stick with it till the very end will walk out of this movie with a smile on their faces.

Things I've learned from ‘Body#19’:

-Releasing someone from a curse is all about timing.

- Checking under your bed isn't always the safest route.

- Trucks are f8cking crazy.

- they missed a great opportunity in not having one of the museum workers scream “I BE PAKINZ BUTTREFLIES!!”, just saying.

- Also, fetus soup…

Personal rating: 9.8/10

Critical rating: 9/10

The Orphanage / El Orfanato (2007)

The Orphanage (El Orfanato) 

IMDB rate: 7,5

Genre: Ghost

Starring: Belén Rueda, Fernando Cayo, Roger Príncep

As you might know, or perhaps not know, The Orphanage is another one of my favorite movies. Every time I watch it I see other details which is amazing. I can not get enough of this movie. I love the fairytale elements in it. It gives an effect to this movie that you would not expect. Maybe not the scariest of them all, but definitely a very impressive movie :).

When you watch the movie for the first time, you might not completely get it. It's certainly recommendable to watch it at least two times. The movie contains two story lines. And sometimes it's hard to focus on the both of them. Many things are happening in this movie, and while you might not notice each thing in the beginning, all the pieces will fall together in the end. 

Laura, a former orphan, raises her adopted son Simon together with her husband Carlos in an old house and former orphanage where she was raised. While at the orphanage Simon tells Laura that he has five invisible friends which she believes are a product of his active imagination. Laura decides to reopen the orphanage to cater for disabled children and throws a party. During the party Simon tries to persuade Laura to go and take a look at his friends cabin but she's too busy. Later on she sees a mysterious masked boy and realizes that Simon has also disappeared. Laura feels the presence of other people in the house and months later Laura invites a team of parapsychologists to try to unravel the mystery.

I'm not sure if this movie can qualify as a horror movie. It has some ghost elements in it, but in the end I don't think many people find it a real horror movie. There are a few jump scares but not major ones. This movie contains the pretty scary but standard elements like bumping noises and scary kids with masks suddenly showing up, but at the same time it also contains modern touches, like a positive HIV test. In my opinion this movie digs a lot deeper in the story line than any other horror movie I know. Most horror movies have a pretty standard formula, and The Orphanage expanded that a lot in my opinion. The thing I liked the most about this movie was the Peter Pan elements in it. It was not the big line of the story but it was a nice small touch to it. This movie has a perfect combination between creepy and beautiful. Which seems to be a weird combination, but fits perfectly into this movie.

The acting in this movie is amazing. Belén Rueda plays the main character 'Laura', and not one moment you think her actings looks fake. While the movie contains many different elements, it all feels real. Another good acting performance was by Fernando Cayo, who plays Laura's husband Carlos and while he has not a big part in this movie, it's a real good performance. The little boy Simon is played by Roger Príncep, and he is really adorable, and for such a young kid, he's quite good in acting. I hope we'll see him again in other movies.

There are many beautiful symbolic moments in this movie. For example, at the beginning you see Carlos play all kinds of different songs on the piano, without hesitating a second. After the disappearance of Simon, he is sitting behind the piano, but he can't play anymore. I love how they well they pictured emptiness, without saying a word about it.

The Orphanages building is beautifully found, and however the interior is not actually filmed in it, you often see the exterior of the building. While it's an amazing building, it scary at the same time. It's huge but also old. When filmed inside the scary feeling becomes even stronger. It's funny that the right sound-mixing can make a 'simple' building scary. The atmosphere of this movie is very somber and that's what gives this movie it's strength. If the story didn't give you goosebumps yet, the atmosphere of the movie definitely will.

In these types of movies there is always something that doesn't fit in the puzzle. And I can understand people who don't like this movie because of the unfitting puzzle pieces. There are many different theories about these 'unfitting pieces' and while I agree with many of them, I don't want to dig deeper in a movie that I like. Personally I didn't mind it too much with this movie.

If you like ghosts movies, this is definitely the one to watch. Or perhaps, if you like puzzle movies. I've seen many reviews of people who don't like horror movies, but loved this one. I personally love this movie, and it's really one of my favorite movies ever.

My personal rate: 9,5/10

Friday Night Screening: Motorhome Massacre 2005

Motorhome Massacre

Because “trailer park of horror” was already taken

What do you get if you give a redneck a camcorder?

You mean apart from the tons of hilarious videos of them doing stupid sh8t as a result of their intoxication on tasteless scotch? Well, there’s also the fact that one of them might get the idea stuck  in his thick head that he wants to make a movie. And thus, we end up with Motor Home Massacre. I’m sure the stereotypical redneck is highly exaggerate, but movies like these keep slapping me in the face with the cold hard fact that they just might be all too true.

Brought to us in 2005 by an amateur movie director Allan Wilbanks, this shot on crackmera violent schmuck flew right under the radar for, well, more than obvious reasons.

Seeing from the title, an obvious parody of a much better movie, it will come as no surprise that this movie takes itself as seriously as Charles Mason giving Ed Gain a piggy back ride on a peace rally.

But what else can be said about this one and a half hours’ worth of brain cells holocaust?

Well, quite a lot actually.

Seven teenagers decide to take a motorhome to the middle of nowhere and have a good time, little do they know that they are about to embark in a tale filled with every single cliché in the book, creepy store clerk telling them about a horrible series of murders in the area, check, picking up an hitchhiker along the way, check, dumb blonds getting what’s coming to them, check.

Yes, the group gets harassed by an unknown killer, who picks them up one by one and kills them in brutal and cheesy ways, but the real question is: what did you expect from a movie called ‘motor home massacre’? You know it’s a bunch of idiots in a motorhome getting Jason-Voorhees’D.

So is this movie any good? Well the short answer would be no, the long answer would be that this movie doesn’t just fail as a horror, but also as a parody, which is a shame really. They had all the cliches, all the cheesy effects, but they just didn’t use them to their advantage, only one scene of five seconds made me laugh near the end throughout the entire movie, and it was all based on a guy looking down at his newly found amputation and saying “damn” with such nonchalance like he just had stepped in a dog turd on his way to the mall.

But apart from that one scene, nothing really stands out, all the actors seems to have gone to the Nic Cage school of acting, which sounds pretty cool, but it really works on your nerves after a while.

The effects were okay, if noting a little cheap, but then again, we’re talking about motor home massacre here.

And now the soundtrack, oh god the soundtrack. I swear to god, if I ever hear the song ‘Truck lovin’man’ one more time I’m gonna personally find whoever decided to put this wretched thing in any motion picture and shove my foot so far up his a** he’ll be shitting boots for the rest of his life.

Apart from that horrid song, the rest of the soundtrack sounds like a emo band trying to slit their wrists with their instruments. Well, that’s what I thought of the soundtrack until the mother of all misplaced great song found its way into this little mess of a movie. Skin-dropped by buttonhook(the first credit song), my god does that gem of a song have nothing to do in a movie like this, unfortunately due to the failure of this movie’s success, that song and that band are harder to find than Shaq’s movie career.

So is this movie worth watching? Probably not, unless if you’re into awkward sex scenes and kindergarten-level dialogue.

Personal rating: 4/10

Critical rating: 3/10

Things I've learned from "Motor home massacre":
- Dating someone who has the voice of Satan might not have been a good idea in hindsight.

- The cops are d8cks in this movie, forcing a group of teenagers to stay in the same woods where there has been a murder? Why not give them giant neon signs with “fresh meat” on them while you’re at it.

- Slasher killers are the best mechanics 

HAPPY BIRTHDAY MEL!!

Well, I’m an horrible friend. Turns out I kinda forgot a very special date, Mel’s birthday. But I’ll make it up with enough vodka shots with the lady of the hour to forget her next birthday! Didn’t help either that she fled to Germany so I couldn’t congratulate her, but when all is said, I am glad to be her friend and wish her the best day ever for this great celebration :D

 

Party hardy 

To Mel, one of my dearest and oldest friend, watching bad movies with someone has never been more fun.

P.S: prepare your liver for the post-birthday party :D