The killing ‘meh’
Well, about time I review a recent horror movie, last one I did turned out to be about musical chairs, so let’s hope that this one has something resembling a storyline.
It might be easy to notice that I’m not that big of a fan of Hollywood and it’s money-whoring habits at the moment, sure there is some gold to be found while searching trough pop artists who’s balls haven’t dropped yet and shitty teen drama romance that makes my gag reflexes strongly react to its sheer stupidity every time someone chooses for the sparkling twat.
But the gold is there, horror movies like Mama and even the Evil Dead remake (didn’t hate it, I’ll probably explain further my opinion someday, hold your pitchforks at bay people) give me hope that there is yet a chance that this storm that surrounds our movie theaters will soon come to pass.
But where was I? Oh yeah, the highly praised “Sinister”, Scariest movie of 2012 and all other great talk, bout time I give that bad boy a watch.
“Totally not Jack Nicholson from the Shining” obsessed horror writer Ellison Oswalt decides that it would be a kick-ass idea for his children to grow up in a murder house, why? So he can write a book about the horrible murder of an entire family that happened not that long ago. A troubled probably alcoholic writer obsessed with getting his story no matter what? You sure Stephen King didn’t write this one? Unfortunately not, but moving on. A strange box keeps appearing in the house bearing a strange collection of 8mm films, our dear buddy Oswalt decides to give it a watch and ends up strung along in a conspiracy about a demonic psychopath’s picnic and pool party with a very dark twist.
First thoughts about this movie? The atmosphere was okay, the characters two dimensional and the acting was bearable, and given there are some kid actors in this one, it’s quite the compliment.
But did it make me soil my panties and run in fear screaming like a little b*tch? Seeing as that my neighbors haven’t yet called the cops complaining about a maniac running down the street screaming something about the lead guitarist of Slipknot being out to get him, I’ll have to say ‘oh sweet mamma with a cherry on top hells no with a capital N.
Predictable cheap jump scares, running annoying little ghost brats and a (even more) psychotic Mick Thompson, come on guys, gotta try harder than that.
The story was okay I guess, the only real scare factor in this movie were the tapes, that sometimes are just plain disturbing, and that was great, it’s just a shame that the idea bucket ran out around halfway through the movie and they decided to go down in cliché avenue with a quick stop at Boreville.
I’m perhaps being a little too rough with Sinister, also seeing as it was partially written by another internet critic C. Robert Cargill from Spill it should be at least able to avoid the common horror clichés, But for a movie as praised as this one, it’s unforgiving, It didn’t really bring anything new to the table, and even though the video viewing parts were great and grainy, and the twist at the end was pretty obvious but still enjoyable, it didn’t raise the bar or even tried to.
Overall not really a bad movie, but the constant praise were highly exaggerated and left me with only one word in my mouth, Mhe…
Things I’ve learned from “Sinister”:
- Possibly the best missed opportunity for a “I heard the pool party kinda died after I went home” joke
- Painting on the wall is cute and all, until the axe comes into play.
- How to mow your lawn like a OH GOD WTF WAS THAT??
- Always watch the last parts of a video
Personal rating: 6
Personal rating: 6
Critical rating: 6.5